Voice Over/Transcript
(Accept mission) Hyperion: Titty volcano. Hyperion: Ugh. Sorry. Some Lost Legion have control of my voice request terminal and they're making me say stupid crap. I need you to kill them. (Enter World of Shopping in Hyperion Hub of Heroism) *'Athena (if present):' Stop them from tinkering with your AI. Understood. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Stop some jerkbags messing with the robot voice. No problem. *'Nisha (if present):' I'm on it, robot-person. *'Claptrap (if present):' Always happy to help another artificial intelligence in distress! *'Jack2 (if present):' Sure. No problem, robot-lady. *'Aurelia (if present):' Save the robotic maiden from speaking obscenities. Understood. Hyperion: I'm not an AI. I'm a person! I sit in a dark room and read what I'm asked! Look -- another incoming message from those jerkbags. It reads: "booty salads." I'm a grown woman who had to say "booty salads" because some jackass wrote those words. (Randomly, says one of the following) Hyperion: Vault Hunter's faces look like wee-wees. God, I hate this. Hyperion: Lost Legion rules, Vault Hunters drool. Hyperion: Vault Hunters can suck it! Booyah thug life hashtag YOLO. Hyperion: Lost Legion forevskies. (Engaging Lost Legion) Dahl Soldier: Oh man, it's the Vault dorks! Dahl Soldier 2: We really charfed it now! Hyperion: Please kill those fartknockers. (Kill all enemies) Hyperion: Wonderful. Actually, while you're at it -- could you find me something a little more intelligent to read aloud? I need to wash that "booty salads" nonsense out of my mouth. *'Athena (if present):' Roger. Acquiring books. *'Wilhelm (if present):' You mean word-holders? Sure. *'Nisha (if present):' Books for the Hyperion chick. Got it. *'Claptrap (if present):' I would be happy to acquire some reading material for you! *'Jack2 (if present):' Okay, grab some books, right-o. *'Aurelia (if present):' You can READ? Are you sure you belong on this planet? (Get book from cleaning bot) Hyperion: That cleaner has a book, and it can't even read! (Get second book) *'Athena (if present):' "An Anthology of Classic Literature." This'll do. *'Wilhelm (if present):' Hardback, smells old, doesn't have a gun on the cover -- yeah, this looks snooty enough. *'Nisha (if present):' One literary snoozefest, as requested. *'Claptrap (if present):' Do you like computers, but wish they couldn't hold as much information? Try "books"! *'Jack2 (if present):' "Classic literature" -- so, like... Detective Frog. *'Aurelia (if present):' Ah, the classics! I performed this one in university. Absolutely killed. Hand still sore from all the high-fives. (Get third book) Hyperion: That looks great -- now send that to me so I can finally show off my range as a voice actress. There's a scanner nearby you can use. (Place and scan books) Hyperion: Ahh, finally. Ahem. Hyperion: O, reason not the need! Our basest beggars are in the poorest thing superfluo--William Shakespeare, King Lear: Act 2, Scene 4 Jack: --Hey, voice lady, you're boring the hell out of me. Go back to saying the stuff about booty salads, that was awesome. N-no, you know what? Say "booty souffle". That's way better, am I right? CL4P-TP: Uh -- why is the voice in my head saying "booty souffle"? Jack: Hahahaha! So glad we hired you. Hyperion: Just turn in the mission, Vault Hunter. (Turn in) Hyperion: I'm so pissed right now. ---- Category:Transcripts